I Would've Loved You Anyway
by Arlene
Summary: Companion to "What I Really Meant to Say"


Disclaimer: DC owns the characters. Not mine, never will be. No money is being made by this piece of fiction. "I Would've Loved You Anyway" is by Trisha Yearwood and is used without her permission. 

Follows "What I Really Meant to Say."

I Would've Loved You Anyway

By Arlene 

Stephanie Brown, dressed as the Spoiler, landed on the rooftop and retracted the cable. After some training with the Bat, she was definitely getting better at this. 

She walked over to the edge of the roof and looked down at the city, hoping in vain for just a glimpse of Robin. After that night at Brentwood, he had disappeared completely. 

//If I'd had known the way that this would end

If I'd had read the last page first

If I'd had chance to walk away 

If I'd had known how this would hurt//

That was the first time she'd seen him so open with his emotions. She's seen him happy, angry, upset, satisfied, but there was always a part of himself that he held back from her, something that she could never reach.

But that night, when she told him she knew who he was, she finally got the full force of his feelings, no holds barred. He was shocked and angry, but most of all scared. Before, she would've been proud to make someone that scared of her, be it a small-time pickpocket or an armed-to-the-teeth gangbanger, but when she saw that fear in his face, and all of it directed at her, it just made her feel sick.

Then he had run away from her, leaving her confused. Wasn't this what he wanted? When they were together, he kept saying that he would tell her if it were up to him, but that it wasn't his secret to reveal. And then, The Batman told her, practically giving her the green light to pursue the relationship. Shouldn't Tim have been happy? She knew what a strain the whole identity thing was on him. He should've been relieved that she knew!

But he ran. Away from her.

//I would've loved you anyway

I'd do it all the same

Not a second I would change

Not a touch that I would trade

Had I known my heart would break

I'd have loved you anyway//

Weeks passed, giving her time to think things through. She got her ticket into The Batman's inner circle, and she knew she should've felt something, some sort of victory. After all, this was really what she wanted all along, right? Well, in the beginning, yes, that was what she wanted, but as she got to know Robin, Timothy, better, she wanted so much more. That coveted sanction into The Batman's world was pushed farther and farther back in her mind, and suddenly, Robin was what she wanted. And she had him, well, part of him, for a while.

For a moment, she let herself remember the fun they had together. The date. The playground. The snow. That kiss. Oh, yes, that kiss. And suddenly her thoughts veered towards that night at Brentwood.

//It's bittersweet to look back now

The memories wither on the vine

Just the chance to hold you close to me

For a moment in time//

Was it her fault? He was the only good thing in her life. He was there during the pregnancy, even though he had every right to leave her and get on with his own life. He was there for the birth. And she lost it, all of it, with those simple words: "Or can I call you Tim?" She cursed herself for her ego that night. Way to go, Steph.

//And even if I'd seen it coming

You'd still'd see me running

Straight into your arms//

At a noise behind her, she spun around and came face to face with the object of her musings. Timothy Drake aka Alvin Draper aka Robin, the Boy Wonder.

"Rob--Tim?" Stephanie gasped. She pulled back her mask. "You're back! Are-are you okay?"

"I'm fine." His face was an emotionless mask.

There were so many things she wanted to say to him. He'd been gone so long that she didn't know where to start. The silence stretched on. When she had envisioned his return, she expected things to go back to the way they were, better even, since there would be no more secrets. She never anticipated this awkwardness.

Nervous about the situation, Stephanie made an effort. "I've missed you, you know. After you, uh, left," she waved vaguely. She didn't wanted to mention his running away, not willing to give him ideas about this encounter.

"Oh," he ground out of clenched jaws.

Silence reigned yet again. After shuffling around a bit, Stephanie straightened up and looked him in the eye. She took a deep breath. "Batman offered to train me. He says I've got potential." Excited, she went on. "Don't you see, Tim? We can be together now. No more secrets. We don't have to sneak around anymore." She wanted, no, needed his approval.

"That's great, Steph. Welcome to the club," he snapped back sarcastically.

Stephanie stepped back as if she had been slapped, and the light faded from her eyes. "But I thought that's what you wanted? That you wanted to tell me, but couldn't . . ." What was wrong with him? Couldn't he see that this was a good thing?

All that time she spent worrying about him, thinking about him, and this is how he reacts? "Oh" and "Welcome to the club"? Her face flushed, and her eyes narrowed. "Fine, *Robin*," she spat out, "I just wanted to let you know that *someone* cared, that I was worried about you. Guess I didn't have to worry at all, huh? 'Cuz your just freakin' *fine*. Well, screw you!" She didn't need him. She'd managed on her own before him and during his absence. She's do just as well without him in the future. She didn't need this. She turned and dove off the building.

Trying desperately to keep her mind blank, she swung from rooftop to rooftop, making her way home. When she stumbled through her bedroom window, she practically tore off her costume and threw it as hard as she could against a wall, not caring whether her mother was home. She crumpled face down on her bed and let out the tears that had been building since she had left him standing there.

She felt so empty, so hollow. She had been dealing with the ache that his disappearance brought about because deep down, she knew he'd come back to her. But now? She was afraid she'd lost him for good. 

She was wrong. She did need him.

//I would've loved you anyway

I'd do it all the same

Not a second I would change

Not a touch that I would trade

Had I known my heart would break

I'd have loved you anyway

I would've loved you anyway//

End


End file.
